The Terrifically Terrible Two

The Terrifically Terrible Two
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The Moe-ster

The Moe-ster

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Pete's Parable

In a far away land a young man set out with 20 gold pieces and a sharp mind in search of happiness. On the road of life he came across three merry merchantmen.

The first merchant said: "Here boy, you'll never find a better deal than this - the Elixir of happiness for just 5 pieces of gold. Cheap enough that if you don't like it you won't be broke. And it's got fine reviews from lots of people. What d'ya say?"

The young man declined and continued his journey. He came across the second merchant man who hailed the young man as follows:

"Young man, I've got for you a deal you'll never regret. For just ten pieces of gold I'll sell you our very Elixir of happiness. Developed by the finest engineers in Wisconsin; we're so certain that this will work that we provide a lifetime guarantee. If you discover that this doesn't provide you with complete happiness we'll tweak the recipe for you as many times as you require, for the rest of your life, until we satisfy you. You can't do better than that, now can you?"

The young man smiled and again declined with the intuitive assurity that he'd yet to be offered true happiness by these merchantmen, and he continued his quest.

When the man arrived at the third merchantman his hopes were slight that he'd find what he was looking for.

"Here sir," called the merchant man, "If it's happiness you seek I can't offer you anything better than that which I have."

"Those are the most honest words of introduction I've heard yet," said the young man, "And what is the charge for this elixir of yours?"

"That depends on how much you have," said the merchant man.

"I have 20 pieces of gold."

"Well then that's the price," replied the merchant.

"And if I'd told you I had 30 pieces of gold what would have been the price, may I ask?"

"Why, 30 pieces of gold, of course."

"Peculiar," said the young man. "And why should I give up my entire fortune to this one product of happiness?"

"Obviously you won't need your fortune anymore," replied the merchant man, "There will be nothing more to use it on; you'll be happy, and have all that you need."

"And what guarantee can you give me that this Elixir will work?"

"I can guarantee it now and throughout eternity. There is not a man on earth that won't find true happiness in this which I offer, because it is composed of the purest essence of man, and though you cannot recall, it is in fact the very reason you chose to enter this path of life. It could only be obtained here, and you, at one time, knew that, and set out in search of it. Now you've found it and you have only to remember that this is what you sought. But all that will become clear to you after you've paid the price."

Well sure enough the young man was convinced, and if not entirely convinced he was sharp enough to realize that there was no hope in obtaining all he wanted for less than all he had, so he emptied his pockets and bought the merchant's wares.

The man never regretted his decision, for to this day he's never had less than what he had while shopping for happiness, and indeed he finds that he has more than he ever knew he could possess.

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